Trepidation

And she started to feel she wasn’t herself, like all of the feelings inside of here were exploding inside. She was aware of her existence of her needs feelings, truths lies, everything, her head would not stop spinning. There was no control over what she could do or feel, things just came to her, like a million bombs falling from the sky they would explode one after another. Nothing ever compared to this, she got her pen and notebook and stated to write, to try to make those feelings fade, but the anger, the frustration, the sadness were getting stronger… She tried to make the pain come out. It was all so bizarre, even the feelings had transformed into subjects, things she could move around. Chills though her arms and spine as the stared to breathe slowly, the feelings still inside of her but now coming back to the life she knew.  Those memories of frustration were slowly fading back into her lost memory not so alive anymore. As if the most powerful drug had made her lose herself, as if a spirit had taken over her body. Slowly reading back the lines she wrote, some feelings seem to remain, but now as a very distant memory, she stops writing, turns off the light and goes to sleep.